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Idiot Awards: 2003
A2597
Fanboy
in Zocalo v2.0
These are true..I had heard of a couple of these before....
Number One Idiot of 2003
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2003
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2003
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of! America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2003
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!
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Idiot Number FIVE of 2003
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2003
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts.
Give him his sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2003
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away.
Sign please.
Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote (and breed).
Scary, isn't it?!
Number One Idiot of 2003
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2003
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2003
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of! America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2003
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number FIVE of 2003
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2003
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts.
Give him his sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2003
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away.
Sign please.
Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote (and breed).
Scary, isn't it?!
Comments
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by A2597 [/i]
[B]
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Idiot Number FIVE of 2003
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[/B][/QUOTE]
Reminds me of that Kids in the hall skit. Where they go and rob a bank and say "Nobody move or this is going to happen to you" Then the Rober shoots one of the other robers
Little like Darwinawards.com
There was one about a highly intoxicated guy who tried to wash his, ahem, balls in the golf course's ball washer. Needless to say, 'they' were caught in the machinery and crushed, causing him to faint in pain, ripping his entire scrotum off when he fell.
:eek:
[B]There was one about a highly intoxicated guy who tried to wash his, ahem, balls in the golf course's ball washer. Needless to say, 'they' were caught in the machinery and crushed, causing him to faint in pain, ripping his entire scrotum off when he fell.[/B][/QUOTE]
[url]http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2003-10.html[/url]:
[quote]A guy making a hot escape on foot from the police had a sawed off shotgun, loaded and cocked, stuck in the waistband of his pants when he tried to jump a fence. This was in pittsburg Ca. He lived but he'll never have kids.[/quote]He really did favor for mankind.
Dumb thief:
[url]http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2003-05.html[/url]
[url]http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2003-09.html[/url]
What was the name of that one tv-serie? [url=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101120/]Home Improvement[/url]
(thanks Google, using finnish name I found page where english name was)
And about that debate "Are high pressure oxygen and acetylene bottles "explosive?":
I think it was about ten years ago when there was fire in one repairshop. Resulting explosion "kicked" roof of building nicely and neighbours living 200 to 300 meters away found some "trash" from their yards.
I think they never did found other half of that exploded acetylene bottle.
[B]Was just going to link that...
There was one about a highly intoxicated guy who tried to wash his, ahem, balls in the golf course's ball washer. Needless to say, 'they' were caught in the machinery and crushed, causing him to faint in pain, ripping his entire scrotum off when he fell.
:eek: [/B][/QUOTE]
Oh man.. reading stories like that make the boys ache. :(
Funny stories though.
- PJH
[B]Well, a sign should be also given to the Wells Fargo teller in story #3, to the cashier in #4 and to the clerk in #7 as you got to be pretty damn stupid to say something like that to a robber. Especially to a robber with a gun in his hand.
Funny stories though.
- PJH [/B][/QUOTE]
Not if you can read a person. Especially a person who radiates insecurity and who looks like he has a sign on his forehead that says "I don't know what I'm doing". Which would seem pretty likely in these cases.
Was just going to link that...
There was one about a highly intoxicated guy who tried to wash his, ahem, balls in the golf course's ball washer. Needless to say, 'they' were caught in the machinery and crushed, causing him to faint in pain, ripping his entire scrotum off when he fell.
Oh man.. reading stories like that make the boys ache.[/B][/QUOTE]
LOL! Even makes me feel queasy! There was this prog only the other wk, these guys on stage doing really disgusting things like stretching their parts into shapes. Looked so painful.
As for the Idiot awards there's progs on tv for the worlds stupidist criminals which captures them on tv. :)
[B]Oh man.. reading stories like that make the boys ache. :( [/B][/QUOTE]
Indeed, and I didn't go into half as much detail as the actual DA account did...
[B]There was this prog only the other wk, these guys on stage doing really disgusting things like stretching their parts into shapes. Looked so painful.[/B][/QUOTE]
My city theatre had them visit....I didn't go. But it was funny watching the newspapers try to review it ;)
Mature content, surprise surprise: [url]http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/[/url]
-Φ
[i]riiiiiiiiiigggght[/i]
[B]Yeah, they came here too. I didn't go. [/B][/QUOTE]
I wonder why.
[B]My city theatre had them visit....I didn't go. But it was funny watching the newspapers try to review it ;)
Mature content, surprise surprise: [url]http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/[/url]
-Φ [/B][/QUOTE]
Lol! That could've been the same guys that I saw on tv. God and they're coming here too, wow must go :rolleyes: hehe.
Why don't they just stick to shaping balloons and making them into sweet poodles or something. :)
[B]Not if you can read a person. Especially a person who radiates insecurity and who looks like he has a sign on his forehead that says "I don't know what I'm doing". Which would seem pretty likely in these cases. [/B][/QUOTE]
No sane person would take any risks whatsoever in a situation like those. It would be sheer stupidity just as well. Robbers, especially stupid ones can be totally unpredictable. You don't argue with a robber with a gun, nor say anything stupid, or try to be funny, or a smartass etc. Unless you're stupid too of course. A robber can fail in his attempt and get caught at worst, but you might lose your life and your co-workers and customers might lose theirs as well as a consequence of your stupid behaviour. So, it's not only stupid to do something like that, but also irresponsible. Never try to play any "games" in a serious situation and try to be a hero.
- PJH
[B]just because it worked, doesnt mean it wasnt stupid [/B][/QUOTE]
That is a matter of opinion.
[B]No sane person would take any risks whatsoever in a situation like those. It would be sheer stupidity just as well. Robbers, especially stupid ones can be totally unpredictable. You don't argue with a robber with a gun, nor say anything stupid, or try to be funny, or a smartass etc. Unless you're stupid too of course. A robber can fail in his attempt and get caught at worst, but you might lose your life and your co-workers and customers might lose theirs as well as a consequence of your stupid behaviour. So, it's not only stupid to do something like that, but also irresponsible. Never try to play any "games" in a serious situation and try to be a hero.
- PJH [/B][/QUOTE]
In short my Mum was brave enough to stand up to robbers. At the time they didn't know they weren't real guns, it can work sometimes standing up to someone but I agree I wouldn't recommend it. And it is stupid and risky to do so even if it is brave at the same time, unless you know your chances by taking the risk are high. Am proud in a way that she stood for what she believed in. She wasn't even manager or nothing then, just worked there. but she obviously didn't give in to them. A BIG risk all the same! And I have to thank mine and her lucky stars that they weren't REAL guns.
the first part he would never know.
the second would take about 0.2 seconds.
the third less then a second, the fourth...depends on how long it takes me to get over the teller window. Worst case I pull him towards me by his broken arm. And yes, that WOULD hurt. Perhaps enough to make him pass out.
and no, I'm not a violent person. I just don't like that kind of thing.
How's that quote go?
"Your making me angry....you arn't going to like me when I'm angry..."