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"Real life" update... Disclaimer: emo, bitching
Dax
Redshirt
in Zocalo v2.0
Well life on the real side has been quite turbulent for me lately to say the least.
My computer decided after working for a few days that it doesn't even want to start in safe mode anymore so I have to call Dell and hopefully I can get it all straightened out (once I stop dragging my heels about it).
My shoulder has been sucking since NY and has recently (because of more stress I think) come back for a full time blow out. Working on that one with massage therapy and stuff but who knows.
Stress in my life that contributes to this: no full time job yet, no place to live for Sept yet, and I posted this on live journal yesterday:
No full time permanent job.
No place to live yet for Sept.
No fully functional shoulder.
and now... no boyfriend.
Definitely no self worth either.
There have been several things here and there that have pissed me off about Nathan. He's done some pretty selfish things but I thought they would just be growing pains because of my return/adjustment to home. Turns out, I am growing, he's not. I was torn between growing up and trying to relax but in the end I really must continue to grow.
Yesterday, after a few hours of crying- we're done.
I now think my shoulder pain is from stress more certainly because after spending everyday this week crying and crying sobbing for about an hour into my pillow last night, I think the pain in my shoulder has come to a head and is on its way down.
Worst week ever? yeah, I think so.
So yeah... how are you guys doing?
My computer decided after working for a few days that it doesn't even want to start in safe mode anymore so I have to call Dell and hopefully I can get it all straightened out (once I stop dragging my heels about it).
My shoulder has been sucking since NY and has recently (because of more stress I think) come back for a full time blow out. Working on that one with massage therapy and stuff but who knows.
Stress in my life that contributes to this: no full time job yet, no place to live for Sept yet, and I posted this on live journal yesterday:
No full time permanent job.
No place to live yet for Sept.
No fully functional shoulder.
and now... no boyfriend.
Definitely no self worth either.
There have been several things here and there that have pissed me off about Nathan. He's done some pretty selfish things but I thought they would just be growing pains because of my return/adjustment to home. Turns out, I am growing, he's not. I was torn between growing up and trying to relax but in the end I really must continue to grow.
Yesterday, after a few hours of crying- we're done.
I now think my shoulder pain is from stress more certainly because after spending everyday this week crying and crying sobbing for about an hour into my pillow last night, I think the pain in my shoulder has come to a head and is on its way down.
Worst week ever? yeah, I think so.
So yeah... how are you guys doing?
Comments
Jake
i dont see how that is going to help, as i've been doing range of motion exercises for 10 years and it hasn't helped...
So anyway, yes, we were talking about you... :) just remember, even if it doesn't seem like it, Everything happens for a reason and things tend to work themselves out. A wise man once said, "Faith Manages" so keep the faith.
I have a full time job.
My back keeps going out at work.
My dog's hip is out.
We need the money.
:p
I hope it all works out for you, but just remember to stay positive (easier said than done, I know) and rely on your friends... even the ones on the internet. :)
have a hug to cheer you up! :)
*hug*
Keep looking and sending out applications. It's just the nature of the beast. Talk to people, human contact is still the most important way to get a job.
As for the walking wounded...
I will join in, my knee has been aching again, I have been hesitant to go to the doctor, I really don't want another surgery. If they couldnt fix it right the first two times, what are they going to do now?
Going to Rhodes (Greece) tomorrow, though alone, for a week. Hopefully there is a lot of wind so I can go kiteboarding most of the days, if not, I need to find something to do. Would have been nice to go with someone else...
Worf
[I]*hugs*[/I] :)
It's just getting better...
:(
Biggles, Worf, Sanfam- I think you are right. BUT, shoulder Dr. Appt first, then getting my compy fixed... I just really hope my warranty hasn't run out on my Dell.
**super big hugs!!!**
Hey Dax
Watch horror movies. I always feel better after a good horror movie.:)
I am sorry but if you really love someone that seriously, it's going to take longer than a fucking week to get back into the dating scene. A week!? Give me a break.
I am really really hurt.
I almost went over to the house last night to borrow a frying pan (I still need to buy one) but I wasn't brave enough. This information is enough to keep me away for a long time still.
*sigh* I remember how I felt when we started dating and I remember why I fell in love with him, but a part of me now doesn't believe a word he said.
----------------------------------------
Are there any men out there that really aren't scum?
Well, you see, that depends entirely on your belief in intelligent design or the theory of evolution.
I don't know if all men are scum, I know I am not, but that doesn't mean I am necessarily compatible with a nice woman. In your case it sure looks like he wasn't in it for the long term, or perhaps his family had objections. In a way you don't just marry your partner, but also his or her family and often they don't get along and this puts your relationship to the test. Even if you don't feel like it now, you may have gotten away from a bad relationship. On thing I've noticed is that there is not point in rushing things, I've seen too many marriages go bust to believe otherwise.
Anyway, that's my view, but I may be wrong since I'm still "happily unmarried." (C) John Cleese.:D
He also didn't dump me, I broke up with him. Funny that... I've basically chosen to close the book on the whole thing now and label him as "too immature". I feel slightly betrayed because he shouldn't have said those things if he couldn't follow through but I guess that comes with immaturity.
I had a chat with my sister and she said that I need to find someone more on "my level"... now if I could only figure out what that is :P
Trident: thanks.
See, that's the problem, when the future in-laws love you, then there's obviously something wrong... like he doesn't deserve you and such, even though it's also a cliché, if your partner is unfit, then what good are the in-laws? (Unless they are filthy rich of course.) :D
People do tend to suck. Just keep those who dont close to ya, and hopefully things will turn out for the better.