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Request for Witty Assistance

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  • SanfamSanfam I like clocks.
    I'm sorry, you drive a metro? :p [url=http://web.archive.org/web/20040227025537/timber.rbss.net/efavideos/oartec.htm](OARTEC!)[/url]
  • croxiscroxis I am the walrus
    You are Emo
    You are so emo your grass cuts itself.

    You are a Prep
    Your popped collar does nothing for your style, and it doesn't improve your aerodynamics either.

    You are a Geek
    Lots of girls call you, but it's only when their computer isn't working.

    This one might be over the top but...

    You are a Mormon
    No one likes you but they'll be your friend 'cause it's one less wedding they have to go to.

    (These are from the boyfriend)
  • AlaricAlaric Damn kids! Get off my island!
    Your village is missing its idiot


    You set yourself low targets and fail to achieve them
  • Entil'ZhaEntil'Zha I see famous people
    [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Alaric [/i]
    [B]Your village is missing it's idiot [/B][/QUOTE]

    [url]http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/youare.php[/url]


    You are in total darkness.

    You are likely to be eaten by a grue...
  • [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Sanfam [/i]
    [B]I'm sorry, you drive a metro? :p [url=http://web.archive.org/web/20040227025537/timber.rbss.net/efavideos/oartec.htm](OARTEC!)[/url] [/B][/QUOTE]

    You wanna tell me what the hell that was about?

    @Jack couldn't help it. :D Your the farthest I know from a Z. LETS GET THAT DAMN ELK!
  • MTMT Ranger
    You are not the Celebrity you Imitate
    So just shut up.


    You are not Desirable
    If even your parents cared to talk to you, they'd tell you that you were an accident.


    You are a Hippy
    Maybe if you weren't so busy smoking weed and vandalizing Seattle, you'd have time to take a fricking shower.


    You are a Holier-Than-Thou Athiest
    Oh, the irony of your sad existance.


    You have a Mullet
    Idiot.


    You are not Politically Savvy
    Congratulations on surviving your first semester at a university and reading that one book about some injustice.


    You want to be a "Gangsta"
    I hope you like being told that you have a pretty mouth every time you take a shower.
  • MessiahMessiah Failed Experiment
    You are special
    And not in the way your mom told you.

    You have a face only a mother could love
    So wear a paper bag until you get home.
  • croxiscroxis I am the walrus
    You are trendy
    In other words your skills at colour coordination caused your doctor to diagnose you as colour blind.
  • You Are Worthless

    I could care less for you only through an effort that isn't worth making
  • croxiscroxis I am the walrus
    I demand a progress report!
  • croxiscroxis I am the walrus
    You are a metrosexual
    Take something from here - [url]http://www.croxis.net/archive/2004-03-23/metrosexuals__bad[/url]
  • Entil'ZhaEntil'Zha I see famous people
    you can't use it, since its stolen from Monty Python, but it fits.

    You are a Git
    Your kind really makes me puke. You vacous, coffee-nosed, malodorous pervert
  • WORFWORF The Burninator
    You are paranoid.
    You make Mulder look trusting.


    Worf
  • croxiscroxis I am the walrus
    You are an Internet Addict
    "Internet is so big, and so pointless, that for some people it is a complete substitute to life."
    - somebody (not my quote)
  • E.TE.T Quote-o-matic
    Without much practise from language it's harder to make good witty texts so here's some source material to use from my collection.



    One sandwich short of a picnic.
    One brick short of a load.
    One egg short of an omelet.
    One pickle short of a barrel.
    One neuron short of a synapse.

    The light is on, but nobody is home.
    The elevator doesn't go to the top floor.
    The last 10 pages are blank.
    There's nothing in the attic but cobwebs.
    The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
    The tank is empty, the battery is dead, the driveshaft has rusted through.
    The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but there is no train.
    The starting gate is open, but he's still asking directions.

    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
    Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
    Not the brightest crayon in the box.
    Not the brightest bulb on the tree.
    So dull he couldn't cut warm butter.

    Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
    Donated his brain to science. Science sent it back.
    Donated his brain to science. Science is contesting the will.
    Donated his brain to science. They thought it was a new strain of bacterium.

    Bright as Thule in December.
    Bright as a coalbin at midnight.
    Bright as a flashlight after 5 years in a drawer.
    Bright as sunlight glinting off a charcoal briquet.
    If he were any dimmer, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
    Even a firefly is brighter.

    Sharp as a blimp.
    Sharp as a marshmallow.
    Sharp as a cotton puff.

    If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
    Depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.
    (Australian) There's a kangaroo loose in the top paddock.
    When they handed out brains, thought they said "drains" and didn't want one.
    His one neuron is getting mighty lonely.
    Nearly starved to death following the instructions "Lather, rinse, repeat."
    A 6-pack of brains, but without the plastic net to hold them together.
    Has no communicable ideas.
    Is reality impaired.
    The brightness knob is set to low
    Prime candidate for natural de-selection.
    Poster boy for the Alzheimer's Foundation.
    His brain is so powerful no thoughts can penetrate.
    Fell out of the family tree.
    Gets lost in an empty closet.
    Keeps repeating, "Socks first, then shoes."
    Bacteria outscore him on IQ tests.
    That lightbulb above his head? No filament.
    Couldn't empty water out of a bucket with the instructions printed on the bottom.
    He is to intellect what warthogs are to beauty.
    Takes an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
    Should not be allowed to breed.

    Has a brand new brain. It's never been used.
    Half his brain is missing, the other half is out looking for it.
    A room temperature IQ.
    You've heard of "one brick short of a load?" He's one load short of a load.
    A perfectly good brain is going unused.
    Is so dense, light bends around him.
    Has the cranial capacity of a gnat.

    Half the time gets his shirt on backwards, the other half gets his head through the armhole.

    Has a photographic memory, with no film and the lens cap glued on.
    Started at rock bottom and went downhill from there.
    When he shakes his head you can hear his brain rattle like a pebble in a tin bucket.
    Hates that cotton in pill bottles. It's so hard to swallow.
    Hits his thumb with the hammer on each downswing, his head on each upswing.
    Often gets lost in thought. It's unfamiliar territory.
    If you put your ear to his head, you can hear the ocean.
    His shoe size, his hat size and his IQ, all the same number.
    With training could be a good paperweight.
    Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard was asleep.
    The end-product of 100 generations of inbreeding.
    Once tried to find hay in a needlestack.
    IQ is so low, he has to dig for it.
    Still solving a three-piece jigsaw puzzle he got 8 years ago.
    It's a compliment to say he's "below average."
  • Why do I have a hunch this is another project thats not going to come to fruition.
  • SanfamSanfam I like clocks.
    This one counts for a grade, so it's going to happen. :p Actually, we're at second draft stages now. We have a very nice background fill that is just plain gorgeous, and will soon have the proper cards die-cut. Perhaps i'll post up PDFs of our progress...
  • shadow boxershadow boxer The Finger Painter & Master Ranter
    one point of housekeeping ~> New Zealand is where you'll find sheep humpers

    You Are Worthless

    I could care less for you only through an effort that isn't worth making

    Capt.Montoya, thats priceless.
  • CurZCurZ Resident Hippy
    You Are A Judgmental Prick
    - You throw rocks from your glass house on Self-Righteous Hill.
  • JackNJackN <font color=#99FF99>Lightwave Alien</font>
    ouch!

    :D
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