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I'm no metal worker nor designer...

...but I think this turned out rather good nonetheless.

[img]http://koti.mbnet.fi/cijk/Holster0.jpg[/img]
From this to ->

[b]Condom Holster DeLuxe[/b]:

[img]http://koti.mbnet.fi/cijk/HolsterA.jpg[/img]

Basically, it's just a metal capsule which works as an oversized keychain. Never leave home without it made easy.

[img]http://koti.mbnet.fi/cijk/HolsterB.jpg[/img]

The camera couldn't really focus on it since the reflection, but here's the size comparison next to a standard abloy-key. It's pretty big, but just a tad below excessive. ;) Looks like it would weigh a ton, but I got the metal to stay very sturdy and rigid with different, yet rather thin layers. Weighs in at about 95 grams. Still quite a lot but hey; it's steel. :p

[img]http://koti.mbnet.fi/cijk/HolsterC.jpg[/img]

The holster works with a screw-on mechanism. The pieces are nearly identical in size as far as the exterior goes, so the opening cut is made straight from the middle.

[img]http://koti.mbnet.fi/cijk/HolsterD.jpg[/img]

And thanks to the tools I had available, I couldn't really make the bugger exactly as I had designed it, so it's a bit more tight fit than I wanted. It keeps the condoms safe nonetheless, despite the fact that you have to bend the edges a bit to fit 'em in the holster. Here's what the bugger looks like opened and fitted with a Gamp.

Seems to me the camera shots came out a bit dark, but you get the idea from 'em anyhoo... I hope.

It's almost done. All I need to do is to wait for the inner lacquer to dry up and then smooth out the spray spills.

It really didn't come out the way I wanted it though: I tried to colour the surface with a blowtorch which simply went wrong and to top the whole thing off, the outer surface lacquer didn't look too shabby either. I decided to leave the exterior without lacquer, since it's always kept pretty dry and I think that the natural small amount of grease from my hands is enough of a coating to keep the rust away in the conditions this thing is kept in.

I'm pretty fed up with this at the moment, but luckily there's only one more polishing phase and then I'm done. :p Whew!

Made by hand with a manual, automated Bulgarian CU-500 chisel and a couple of other machines. ...And with a lot of ye' good ol' sandpaper and needle filing. I made it out of pure steel - non-stainless unfortunately. I made this using the materials and instruments carried by our local trade school, and by the time I discovered that they actually [i]do[/i] carry stainless steel, although in very small amounts, I'd already chiseled the other half. Figures. :p Well, at least the costs were minimal. The material costs were a whoppin' US 2.50$ :p

I thought this up during the summer as I had to have something to think about while driving a forklift at a DHL warehouse. Need to keep your noggin' at work, otherwise I'll go haywire at that sort of work in no time. This is one of those rare projects that I thought up that I actually was able to carry out and produce.

Having a condom on you at all times: The surefire way to make sure you'll never, ever getting laid again.

/EDIT: Oh, and; yes. The buttplug / dick -resemblance is purely intentional. Sick ol' perv, me...

Comments

  • JackNJackN <font color=#99FF99>Lightwave Alien</font>
    I've been busy sanding and staining our Eastern White Pine log bed. I just finished that phase at 10 PM Central Redneck time...

    I get 2 days off after tomorrow's relapse of XMas buyers remorse...

    I'll be putting a couple coats of laquer to shine it up and give it that deep look.

    And yes I get laid regularly ... :p
  • MessiahMessiah Failed Experiment
    Good job. Gonna make more stuff?
  • JackNJackN <font color=#99FF99>Lightwave Alien</font>
    Not trying to hijack the thread or anything but...

    ;)
  • MessiahMessiah Failed Experiment
    You been playing with tar, Jack?
  • JackNJackN <font color=#99FF99>Lightwave Alien</font>
    [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Messiah [/i]
    [B]You been playing with tar, Jack? [/B][/QUOTE]

    Heh... no...

    Red Oak stain...

    Eastern White Pine log frame, sanded down the years of aging and applied said stain. It is quite dark isn't it? Looks more like fire distressed... Actually a pleasant suprise for me...

    I tested it on a small unseen piece first, and got the wife ok before continuing.

    Time for a few coats of laquer to get the deep shine...

    Will be nice I think...

    I would have gone with Heart Redwood, but they don't seem to sell SuperDeck out here in this part of the country...

    *sigh*
  • MessiahMessiah Failed Experiment
    I like the look. Looks not dissimilar to the colour of my viking chest. I used american white oak and, after planing, I painted it whith a thin layer of heated 70% tar and 30% linseed oil. I let it dry for about half an hour, and then removed the excess with paper.
  • BigglesBiggles <font color=#AAFFAA>The Man Without a Face</font>
    That looks great, Jack!
  • JackNJackN <font color=#99FF99>Lightwave Alien</font>
    Pine log Bed frame.

    Well I just finished the Polyurathane coat this evening. Now to let it dry for a few days...

    picture attached:

    You can also go to this thread on LWG3D.org and see the timeline...

    [URL=http://www.lwg3d.org/forums/showthread.php?p=100088973#post100088973]other thread[/URL]

    ;)
  • MessiahMessiah Failed Experiment
    I like the look. Its got a lot of warmth in it. :)
  • JackNJackN <font color=#99FF99>Lightwave Alien</font>
    [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Messiah [/i]
    [B]...Its got a lot of warmth in it.[/B][/QUOTE]

    It'll have a lot more when I start using it... :p
  • FreejackFreejack Jake the Not-so-Wise
    Data, nice work

    Jack, while I'm not a huge fan of rustic furniture, that is a very nice peice and should look great in your house.

    While we are showing off our projects that we've done, here is a small childs rocking chair I just completed. It is based upon an antique that was originally my grandmothers.

    Jake
  • FreejackFreejack Jake the Not-so-Wise
    Here is another of my completed projects, the banister in our house, done in craftsman style.

    Jake
  • MessiahMessiah Failed Experiment
    *Sigh* I have to start photographing and uploading my stuff. Good work! :)
  • JackNJackN <font color=#99FF99>Lightwave Alien</font>
    I like threads like this, good work all around...

    Reminds us that we all have RL, and sometimes it can be just as rewarding or even more that cyber life.

    :)
  • BigglesBiggles <font color=#AAFFAA>The Man Without a Face</font>
    Jack, you're not making any sense!
  • JackNJackN <font color=#99FF99>Lightwave Alien</font>
    [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Biggles [/i]
    [B]Jack, you're not making any sense! [/B][/QUOTE]

    No?

    :p

    ;)
  • bobobobo (A monkey)
    Beautiful work, Jack. Amazing how the stain interacted with the grain. I wouldn't have expected such a contrast.
  • FreejackFreejack Jake the Not-so-Wise
    [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by bobo [/i]
    [B]Beautiful work, Jack. Amazing how the stain interacted with the grain. I wouldn't have expected such a contrast. [/B][/QUOTE]

    Especially considering how hard getting pine to take stain evenly can be, I have a foot stool that is giving me fits right now!

    Jake
  • JackNJackN <font color=#99FF99>Lightwave Alien</font>
    [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Freejack [/i]
    [B]Especially considering how hard getting pine to take stain evenly can be, I have a foot stool that is giving me fits right now!

    Jake [/B][/QUOTE]

    Well a lot of it depends on the type of wood even within the species itself. Not all pines are the same.

    This was Eastern White Pine. Relatively soft.

    The primary reason for sanding it down all at once was to get the uniformity.

    I used a 2" brush and rag combo technique to apply the stain. Apply stain with Brush, wipe excess with rag.

    I have a little more leeway with a pine log bed than I think Freejack has with his project... :p
  • FreejackFreejack Jake the Not-so-Wise
    Not sure what species of pine this is since its a Home Depot special, but I needed something quick. I think I will stick with hardwoods after this project is over.

    I used a gel stain and wiped it off, but still it blotched real bad, so I have a feeling I'll need to do several more coats.

    Jake
  • BigglesBiggles <font color=#AAFFAA>The Man Without a Face</font>
    Did you give the stain any time to dry/soak in before wiping away excess, Jack?
  • JackNJackN <font color=#99FF99>Lightwave Alien</font>
    [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Biggles [/i]
    [B]Did you give the stain any time to dry/soak in before wiping away excess, Jack? [/B][/QUOTE]

    On average about 2-3 seconds after the brush stroke I'd wipe it off. This is a rather dark stain on a soft wood that drinks it up fast, so I didn't wait too long... :)
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