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why does everything end?
ShadowDancer
When I say, "Why aye, gadgie," in my heart I say, "Och aye, laddie."London, UK
in Zocalo v2.0
ive just finished watching all 7 seasons of DS9, and i guess im just feeling a little empty at the moment.
i was down in edinburgh the last couple of days and while i was there i ran into a few friends from my old halls (one of whom is a summer warden there at the moment) and was invited in for lunch with them. it was strange sitting there with them, i kept expecting to see all the others walk into the kitchen like old times.
and then i realised that things can never go back to the way they were. i think that is one of the hardest things to deal with that ive ever faced. harder even than dealing with my nervous breakdown. its the one thing that ever keeps me up at night.
sometimes i curse the fact i was ever born......at least things would be simpler then.....
i was down in edinburgh the last couple of days and while i was there i ran into a few friends from my old halls (one of whom is a summer warden there at the moment) and was invited in for lunch with them. it was strange sitting there with them, i kept expecting to see all the others walk into the kitchen like old times.
and then i realised that things can never go back to the way they were. i think that is one of the hardest things to deal with that ive ever faced. harder even than dealing with my nervous breakdown. its the one thing that ever keeps me up at night.
sometimes i curse the fact i was ever born......at least things would be simpler then.....
Comments
In all seriousness, you cant look at your life like that. I had a real hard time with depression a while ago, it was right after I left the Marine Corps. In a nutshell, my end of active service date was 9/7/2001, 4 days before september 11th. So I was already home and working at my new job at GE when everything happend. I was quite beside myself. On one hand, I was relieved I was out, and so was my wife and enjoyed my new job (GE Medical Systems didnt take a hit after sept 11, production increased), but on the other hand there was my Marine brothers most of whom I felt responsible for still serving and packing for war.
This upset me to the point where I almost re-enlisted. I couldnt stand the fact I had these feelings of honor and duty both to my Marine Corps and my family. Whichever once I chose the other would suffer. In the end, I chose to stay with my family, but the Marine Corps is still with me, Im very proud that I served, and its not my fault that they didnt start the war on my watch.
How this relates to you, is a bit of a round-about way, but it does. I wanted it to be just like it was in 98 when I went to Greece as part of the UN effort to stop Milosavek(sp), you have no idea the comraderie of Marines when they go to war, those marines are closer to than some of my own family. I desparately wanted that back, really I still want it now. But dwelling on the past just pushes you further into depression, youve got to look forward to new friends and family and see that there is something else out there.
Life is important. any life. You cant either sit and watch it go by, or grab it hang on, ride it out.
Ride it out man, you never know where it will take you, and thats the beuaty of it.
[B]The ending of a good book is like that... paradoxically, a good ending makes you feel worse than a bad ending. [/B][/QUOTE]
I call it "Great Story Syndrome." :) A really great story is great to read/watch/listen to, but it has in it the paradox that it cannot be truly great without ending and yet at the same time you don't want it to end. I love reading/watching/listening to great stories, but I tend to be depressed for some time after I finish them.
[B]I call it "Great Story Syndrome." :) A really great story is great to read/watch/listen to, but it has in it the paradox that it cannot be truly great without ending and yet at the same time you don't want it to end. I love reading/watching/listening to great stories, but I tend to be depressed for some time after I finish them. [/B][/QUOTE]
not always true. Comedys are free of this problem. (Princess Bride anyone?)
but yea....Gargoyles, Gladiator, many others...when they are done, it's just...sad...
[B]The only time I can think of that I have ever been brought to tears was at the end of a very good book... and one supreme short story by Asimov. [/B][/QUOTE]
*Thinks*
Very nearly when I heard Bab5 was canceled at the end of S3...ok, maybe I did...(Not for SiL. I was to disgusted with it for it to even feel like an ending, but just as well...)
Very nearly at the end of Gladiator. Bitter sweet ending.
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring...same thing as gladiator.
Books...hmmm....none come to mind. And I've read hundereds if not thousands of books thus far in my life....
My worries are not on the good 'ol days, but how am I going to one up myself to be even greater than I was before.
I don't see things as an end. There is too much energy moving in the universe. The end of something in our lives is just a transition into another segment of it.
what happens, happens....unless I can change it that is. :D MUAHAHAHA!!!
*Runs off rambeling about [i]Ta'veren[/i]*
The end of one thing is just the beginning of another.
Welcome to adulthood, ShadowDancer. You may not be there yet, but learning that things aren't always the same, and are ever changing, is actually liberating. Now that you know, I mean [i]really[/i] know this, you can start realizing there is more to this world than you knew before.
People are not like everyone you knew in school, they don't all fit into one of the boxes you grew up with. Surprise! You'll meet some highly intelligent jocks out there, successful nerds, some truly beautiful people with common appearances, and many combinations that were not possible in your childhood situations.
The world is not as black and white as your parents and teachers may have said. Surprise! There are situations that were harmful as a child that are absolutely appropriate for an adult, and activities that you'll have a hard time remembering why you liked them so much, because in the light of the new possibilities, they seem so, well, childish.
If you're going to univeristy, you'll find that you [i]don't[/i] have to go to class if you don't want to. Surprise! Going to class actually means something when its [i]your[/i] choice to go.
Go ahead and miss your old life, but only for a moment, because there are new opportunities, adventures, comrades, and a whole world out there just waiting for you to find them!
[i]"The only constant in the universe is change"[/i][b] - Albert Einstien[/b]
[i]"The past is a trap"[/i][b] - ?[/b]
If you can live life knowing that things will never be the same, and can learn from the past but not relive it, then you'll do ok...
;)
[B]Talking about [i]Tenth Kingdom[/i]? [/B][/QUOTE]
That's 7.5 hours long, but yeah, same effect.
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by croxis [/i]
[B]I've come to realize that the time I was at my greatest was almost 3 years ago while I was a senior in high school. For some odd reason I do not want to have things the way they were. There are things I miss (like having close friends) but I realize that this down time is for me to regenerate and recover from old wounds.
My worries are not on the good 'ol days, but how am I going to one up myself to be even greater than I was before.
I don't see things as an end. There is too much energy moving in the universe. The end of something in our lives is just a transition into another segment of it. [/B][/QUOTE]
I have to agree. I'm in a transition period myself. Most of my friends from my undergrad days have moved on and away. Once I finish my PhD I'll also move on to somewhere else (probably even further away than them) and things will begin again.
*checks temperature of hell*
Nope, not quite there yet....
[B]Im guessing your a glass half empty kind of person. Actually from your post, its more like, the glass is already upside down on the drain rack.
[/B][/QUOTE]
well im certainly pessimistic most of the time. the way i look at it, it cant get any worse ;)
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by SpiritOne [/i]
Ride it out man, you never know where it will take you, and thats the beuaty of it. [/B][/QUOTE]
yeah, im slowly coming to realise that. i just wish it would hurry up and get here tho:rolleyes:
I can hear what you're thinkin'
All your doubts and fears
And if you look in my eyes in time you'll find,
The reason I'm here
And in time all things shall pass away
In time you may come back someday.
Live once more
Or die once more
But in time your time will be no more
You know your days are numbered
Count 'em one by one
Like notches in the handle of an outlaw's gun
You can outrun the devil if you try
But you will never outrun the hands of time
In time there'll surely come a day
In time all things shall pass away
In time you may come back some say
Live once more
Or die once more
But in time your time will be no more
I can hear what you're thinkin'
I think I'm running that on reverse.
Good thing I'm man enough to stay in almost coherent form most of the time even with that all. Ofcourse. I might've lost who I was a long time ago.
hmm.. There's my persona here, in couple of irc channels, with my gf and her friends, some other friends online and that finnish friend..
(I use the term "friend" loosely, think acquintance or something, and associate, again, except for the finnish girl. She has always seemed genuine... but i've never been good to judge that ;))
[B]The end of one thing is just the beginning of another.
Welcome to adulthood, ShadowDancer. You may not be there yet, but learning that things aren't always the same, and are ever changing, is actually liberating. Now that you know, I mean [i]really[/i] know this, you can start realizing there is more to this world than you knew before.
People are not like everyone you knew in school, they don't all fit into one of the boxes you grew up with. Surprise! You'll meet some highly intelligent jocks out there, successful nerds, some truly beautiful people with common appearances, and many combinations that were not possible in your childhood situations.
The world is not as black and white as your parents and teachers may have said. Surprise! There are situations that were harmful as a child that are absolutely appropriate for an adult, and activities that you'll have a hard time remembering why you liked them so much, because in the light of the new possibilities, they seem so, well, childish.
If you're going to univeristy, you'll find that you [i]don't[/i] have to go to class if you don't want to. Surprise! Going to class actually means something when its [i]your[/i] choice to go.
Go ahead and miss your old life, but only for a moment, because there are new opportunities, adventures, comrades, and a whole world out there just waiting for you to find them! [/B][/QUOTE]
i hear what your saying, and believe me, when i get back down to Uni for my second year, i plan to join loads more clubs, meet loads more people (anhd ask out a very nice young lady who i happen to know:))
ive been thinking about why ive been so down recently, and i think its because ive had too much time on my hands this summer and have been able to do loads of nothing but thinking. before summer i had a great sense of purpose (passing my year finals and all), and now ive just ben missing the pressure (strange tho it may seem) and missing the peopel (as lots of the people i made friends with are from either other countries, or places that would have been hard for me to visit).
[B](anhd ask out a very nice young lady who i happen to know:))[/B][/QUOTE]
Atta boy!
Sounds like you're gonna be all right.