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Vets again! Bad news, bad day
MartianDust
Elite Ranger
in Zocalo v2.0
About my cat - Jasper. No easy way to say this but he passed away earlier. :(
Vet took a look and it had spread to his nose and other side of face. I feel so hurt not just over the loss but cos it was a shock and cos the vet didn't tell me everything.
I apologise in advance for this being rather long but have to get it off my chest somehow!
Firstly I had a change of heart this morning before Jasper struggled like crazy(never has before) to not get in the basket. :( Parents persuaded me, so I thought I'd go there and then decide there and then! Had my final questions to ask.........like if it was extensive what would happen? Stupid Simon (vet) said that he wouldn't cut too deep and I agreed. And I asked if he couldn't remove it how long would my cat have, would it be shortened after the Op. He said he didn't know how long. I accepted that.
He said he'd phone during the Op if it was deep to make sure I didn't want this. Again agreed. Left building........
Lunchtime he phones me to say its best to put him to sleep cos the Tumour is deep!! I can't begin to tell you how horrible this was. To suddenly decide something when
A) He never said anything about oh we may have to put him to sleep when I saw him earlier and he knew I was having big doubts about the risk!!:mad:
B) All I'd prepared for was either a good news or bad news that it couldn't be removed but I'd have him in 5days time either way!! :mad: :(
I can't help wishing to god I'd trusted my instincts, my gut feelings earlier!!!!Daft as it sounds I'd even told myself in bed that if he struggled it would be his way of telling me not to.
And if the vet had said that we may have to put him to sleep I would not have had it done!! Since he was eating relatively well, and happy purring and going out and everything! :(
Not only that but he was really quite argumentative on the phone at the time and unsympathetic. I agree it would I guess have been selfish in a way to have kept him there a wk suffering, afterwards though earlier he said he wouldn't suffer if Op was bad news and he had to stay. Even said they don't normally notice they're on a drip etc...
So why the hell didn't he say anything??! I said I wished he'd said this earlier that he may have to be put to sleep. He did say sorry then in the next breath. Oh don't know why I should feel bad about this!
I'd only said I wish! Then he said I would've thought it was obvious. he so belittled me! Honestly I couldn't believe this guy?!
My parents, b/f..........it wasn't obvious as he put it to any of us!
Well I aim to issue a complaint though I know it won't get me far, its only his word against mine.
You might even think he was right, and I'm wrong.
But this has made me feel bitter, regret and I can't help blaming me and the Vet about it. And I hate feeling like this cos its bad enough without the other feelings. :(
One reason why I wanted this done originally was cos I didn't have a chance with my other cat, so I knew I had to try so I wouldn't regret. How strange ,ironic really that I'm in more regret because of whats happened. Something I never EVER dreamed! Now I'm starting to wish I'd been firmer and not let him put him to sleep. I just feel that everytime I look back on this it will eat at me cos basically I can't forgive myself. :(
How am I supposed to think and say it was ok what I did when I feel I've stolen perhaps 2months of his happiness. I certainly would put him to sleep when he started to suffer. Plus I would've been more prepared too.
:(
Really sorry for going on, you're probably sick of this by now but I felt I had to, plus well I guess I won't have to write so much if I write a letter of complaint.
[url]http://www.davidbowie.com/users/martiandust2002/P1010910copy.jpg[/url]
[url]http://www.davidbowie.com/users/martiandust2002/P1010914copy.jpg[/url]
Vet took a look and it had spread to his nose and other side of face. I feel so hurt not just over the loss but cos it was a shock and cos the vet didn't tell me everything.
I apologise in advance for this being rather long but have to get it off my chest somehow!
Firstly I had a change of heart this morning before Jasper struggled like crazy(never has before) to not get in the basket. :( Parents persuaded me, so I thought I'd go there and then decide there and then! Had my final questions to ask.........like if it was extensive what would happen? Stupid Simon (vet) said that he wouldn't cut too deep and I agreed. And I asked if he couldn't remove it how long would my cat have, would it be shortened after the Op. He said he didn't know how long. I accepted that.
He said he'd phone during the Op if it was deep to make sure I didn't want this. Again agreed. Left building........
Lunchtime he phones me to say its best to put him to sleep cos the Tumour is deep!! I can't begin to tell you how horrible this was. To suddenly decide something when
A) He never said anything about oh we may have to put him to sleep when I saw him earlier and he knew I was having big doubts about the risk!!:mad:
B) All I'd prepared for was either a good news or bad news that it couldn't be removed but I'd have him in 5days time either way!! :mad: :(
I can't help wishing to god I'd trusted my instincts, my gut feelings earlier!!!!Daft as it sounds I'd even told myself in bed that if he struggled it would be his way of telling me not to.
And if the vet had said that we may have to put him to sleep I would not have had it done!! Since he was eating relatively well, and happy purring and going out and everything! :(
Not only that but he was really quite argumentative on the phone at the time and unsympathetic. I agree it would I guess have been selfish in a way to have kept him there a wk suffering, afterwards though earlier he said he wouldn't suffer if Op was bad news and he had to stay. Even said they don't normally notice they're on a drip etc...
So why the hell didn't he say anything??! I said I wished he'd said this earlier that he may have to be put to sleep. He did say sorry then in the next breath. Oh don't know why I should feel bad about this!
I'd only said I wish! Then he said I would've thought it was obvious. he so belittled me! Honestly I couldn't believe this guy?!
My parents, b/f..........it wasn't obvious as he put it to any of us!
Well I aim to issue a complaint though I know it won't get me far, its only his word against mine.
You might even think he was right, and I'm wrong.
But this has made me feel bitter, regret and I can't help blaming me and the Vet about it. And I hate feeling like this cos its bad enough without the other feelings. :(
One reason why I wanted this done originally was cos I didn't have a chance with my other cat, so I knew I had to try so I wouldn't regret. How strange ,ironic really that I'm in more regret because of whats happened. Something I never EVER dreamed! Now I'm starting to wish I'd been firmer and not let him put him to sleep. I just feel that everytime I look back on this it will eat at me cos basically I can't forgive myself. :(
How am I supposed to think and say it was ok what I did when I feel I've stolen perhaps 2months of his happiness. I certainly would put him to sleep when he started to suffer. Plus I would've been more prepared too.
:(
Really sorry for going on, you're probably sick of this by now but I felt I had to, plus well I guess I won't have to write so much if I write a letter of complaint.
[url]http://www.davidbowie.com/users/martiandust2002/P1010910copy.jpg[/url]
[url]http://www.davidbowie.com/users/martiandust2002/P1010914copy.jpg[/url]
Comments
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Thanks for the hugs Phi. Much needed right now, despite having hugs in real life from family.
I hope your dog is doing ok now.
I can barely imagine your pain. I know I would be devastated at the loss of my cat. I don't even know if I could handle being told a half truth about the future of my pet. That would completely knock me off my rocker. Really sorry for your loss...
He should have told you what every possibility was, even the worst so you could prepare yourself, not that it would make losing something you hold so dear.
Can we add him to the list of evil people that we need to destroy?
Worf
Still, I will never get to attached to a pet/animal because they usually die befor me. I will suffer enough when my human friends and family passes away. But this is just me so ignore it if you want.
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by MartianDust [/i]
[B][url]http://www.davidbowie.com/users/martiandust2002/P1010910copy.jpg[/url]
[url]http://www.davidbowie.com/users/martiandust2002/P1010914copy.jpg[/url][/B][/QUOTE]
Looks much like cat we had earlier.:(
When I was home in weekend I saw him last time basking in the sun beside wall of building. On sunday night I left from home to go to city where I was in vocational school. Late afternoon in wednesday sister called me that he had gotten serious infection... well I guess you got the point.:(
*hugs*
Well am dealing the best way I can, trying to keep busy for one thing!
Guess what hurts is I so tried to do the right thing and ended with the worst scenario. :( Let alone grieving.
I know, well am sure I won't get anywhere in complaining but I know I have to do/try something. I wish I could warn everybody too, to ask the put to sleep question even if the Op itself went ok.
Though I did know that in every Op no matter how minor specially with pets that there is some danger involved.
But who knows? My vet was so changeable he probably would've said he wouldn't be put to sleep less something went wrong in the Op. Infact its even crossed my mind that perhaps something did happen that was irreversible.
I know I've always said too that money isn't an issue like so many of you said but hell if they ask I really don't want to pay it, certainly not if they charge to put him to sleep. I'm currently not working, this is how much my cat meant to me. It was going to take me a fair bit to pay most of it. I was looking at things to sell. So in some ways I feel am paying for a scenario by money as well as regret which is of course the worst thing for me, regret and total loss of my cat. If it just hadn't worked out and I had him end of wk as expected and I still didn't mind the cost. :(
I tried so hard to do the right thing dammit. I really hope I can forgive myself one day.
Sanfam even though you made me cry. (No don't feel bad) Am actually glad you so understand. Hope you never get a vet like it, hope none of you do or that scenario.
[QUOTE][B]Thats bad. I can only offer you my sympathy, but Im here if you want anyone to talk to.[/B][/QUOTE]
Messiah thanks, thats really kind of you, perhaps I'll take you up on that sometime. Then again perhaps I should tune into IRC sometime for a chat to ppl here anyway. :)
[QUOTE][B]Can we add him to the list of evil people that we need to destroy?
[/B][/QUOTE]
Worf, yes you can, PLEASE! Can't remember you having an actual evil list. I definitely wish i could zap him to the sun and have him seriously fried.
[QUOTE][B]
Still, I will never get to attached to a pet/animal because they usually die befor me. I will suffer enough when my human friends and family passes away. But this is just me so ignore it if you want.[/B][/QUOTE]
That is true normally. But I must add that they give you so many yrs of happy times that I have to say personally it is worth the pain inbetween. I've lost 2 cats before this one and sometimes even if its just 1 or 2x a yr that I look at their photos and have abit of a cry, I never regret having them for those good times. Sometimes they can be the only things to talk to, specially if you are alone or sometimes its just easier, and they can't argue back either!
And I didn't want to ignore you cos like me you have your opinions too. But I do feel you are missing out too. And I mean that in the kindest way. :)
[QUOTE][B]Looks much like cat we had earlier.
When I was home in weekend I saw him last time basking in the sun beside wall of building. On sunday night I left from home to go to city where I was in vocational school. Late afternoon in wednesday sister called me that he had gotten serious infection... well I guess you got the point.[/B][/QUOTE]
ET really sorry to hear that, that must've been a shock for you. And yes I do get the point, all too well. :(