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GM's response to Bill Gates
Rogue Trader
Somebody stop him...
in Zocalo v2.0
Im sure this is well known but i found it really funny and my sister just emailed to me for the first time!
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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning lite.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and refuse to let you in, until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate -their computer
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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning lite.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and refuse to let you in, until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate -their computer
Comments
Yeah, I've heard some sort of simplified version of that before, it's pretty darn true. Eat your heart out Bill Gates. :P
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[*] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[*] Speed / manoeuvrability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[*] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[*] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be
used:
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[*] Iraq
[*] Central / South America
[*] Iraq
[*] Aircraft carrier
[*] Iraq
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[*] VCR
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[*] Space Shuttle
[*] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
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(Check all that apply
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[_] Terrorist
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[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
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[_] Deficit spending
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[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
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[*] Ransom money
[_] Traveller's check
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[_] Sales / marketing
[*] Revolutionary
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[_] Retired
[*] Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please
indicate the interests and activities in which you and your
spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[*] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / disinformation
[*] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[*] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[*] Espionage / reconnaissance
[*] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
The F-14 was made by Grumman corporation (the long time provider of naval aircraft) and the F-117 is a Lockheed product!
And last but not least, McDonald Douglas got merged with Boeing :)
[B]Ohh oooh time to NITPICK!!!
The F-14 was made by Grumman corporation (the long time provider of naval aircraft) and the F-117 is a Lockheed product![/B][/QUOTE]
And Viper was made by General Dynamics.:rolleyes:
[B]And Viper was made by General Dynamics.:rolleyes: [/B][/QUOTE]
No. That was made by Dodge (aka Dahmler-Chrysler).
-R.
[B]No. That was made by Dodge (aka Dahmler-Chrysler).
-R. [/B][/QUOTE]
Yes!
Pilots call F-16 as Viper instead its official name.;)
([url]http://www.f16viper.org/[/url] for example)
[B][_] Heard loud noise, looked up[/B][/QUOTE]
:D
[B]How come Simmonds don't intend to buy a nuclear weapon? [/B][/QUOTE]
I'm going with Fusion Weapons.
[B]I'm going with Fusion Weapons. [/B][/QUOTE]
Sorry but you "outruled" that.
Fusion/hydrogen bombs are also nuclear weapons, doesn't word thermonuclear bomb suggest that?
[url]http://nuclearweaponarchive.org/Nwfaq/Nfaq1.html[/url]
[url]http://nuclearweaponarchive.org/Library/Teller.html[/url]
[url]http://nuclearweaponarchive.org/Nwfaq/Nfaq2.html[/url]
[B]Nuclear does not just mean nuclear fission. [/B][/QUOTE]
Oh
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Rogue Trader [/i]
[B]7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
[/B][/QUOTE]
LMAO!!! :D
Seen that before, but fun to read again. :D
- PJH