God damn their are allot of depressed people here.
Whats Scary is that I have allot of the same issues as refa, But i'm not suicidal;)
Well I guess i'm not as depressed of Refa, nor am I suicidal. For as long as I can remember I have been depressed about life, It got really worse when I was in grade 7 and 8, to the point when I was put on anti-depressants. I stop taking them after a few months becuase they where giving me very bad hart-burn.
Yes I am a geek and i'm proud of it. And yes i'm a loner, I prefure to keep to my self, and I don t like being in public very much(heh, when i goto the movies, I go by my self), and yes, i'm the outcast at school. Yes I spend my friday nights at home alone, but so do alot of us. And for some reason people call me a loser for this?. Does Thinking about the future of the people of earth make me a loser??
As for friends, I have about 3 or 4 (good)friends, I have never really had the need for a large amount of friends like the people in the higher social class(You know the type of ppl i'm talking about)who think they need alot of friends, I think they have a big fear of being alone, unlike me who does not. Threw out my life I have not had very many friends, But i dont care. As for a girl friend, I have a slim to none chance of getting. there anrt very many girls who share the same interests as me, and the thing about me being labled a loser is a big turn off as well(I know I'm not Ugly). But I dont care, who needs a girl friend. I know people my age, There number one thing of their mind is to get fuck:D Its on my mind too, But its not the number one thing. I dont know when it will happend, But it will happen when it happens
Despite what alot of people think, I am prity smart(Yes I suck at spelling and Grammer), I spend alot of my time thinking about world issues. Thinking up an united earth goverment and things like that. I spend alot of my time working on 3D art. And still for some reason this makes me a loser and stupid??. I do prity well in school, I hope to get a 75%+ Grade average this year
Yes I'm Paranoid, I'm afraid of awsering the door, or the phone unless I know who it is.
To end this off, I am not a man, I am not a woman, I am a human.
Please seek help, serious help. No matter what you think of yourself, you are worth saving, and you are valuable. If you don't think that your worth anything to the world, you at least matter to me, and I think others, at Firstones.
Keep looking for an answer. Just a guick google for "finland" and "depression" shows a lot of links, including [url=http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/151/4/530]this one[/url] showing that many people have received [i]improper[/i] care. Don't give up. Don't let them tell you they're doing all that can be done if it isn't enough.
I don't know enough about you to even attempt a diagnoses, and I won't give a glib quote to lift your spirits. But you're a person, and of infinite worth.
Feeling better after a good night sleep. I'm still want to go to Japan, but that'll be sometime in the future.
I want to thank everyone here for their suport. I guess I got to go to booring school and work, but if it'll get me my YZF 600R I'll go there everyday.
I've got "past" my depression and suicidalness during the years for.. I dunno, 2 - 4 times now. But now.. Well. I'm tired of it.
I'm not going to bother using months in order to get myself a bit of normal life, and then get it all taken in moments, and being thrown back into the pit.
So, the only way to get out of the loop, is by killing myself, eventually. And ceasing to exist totally. It's rational. It's logical. See?
In my case the point was that I didn't became more "stonger".I became eventually weeker. There was too much shit coming down to my neck and i couldn't carry it all anymore so my knees gave up...and my kneels doesn't have a desire anymore to repair the damages...
I hated myself then even thought i was everything that i was ever hoping for...I was anti-social, i writed good lyrics and there was other things what were so fucking great!but now, i don't have none of those things...i should now hate myself for so many reasons but i don't...so the final conclusion is that depression broke me and i can't never be the same and in some cases it's good but...
I guess we all should go to Japan and have some fun!
ShadowDancerWhen I say, "Why aye, gadgie," in my heart I say, "Och aye, laddie."London, UK
[QUOTE]I guess we all should go to Japan and have some fun![/QUOTE]
That would be cool, tho id still rather go to NZ! Better looking women there!!!! (in my humble opinion:D)
[QUOTE]I'm not suicidal, I'm just depressed from time to time,(I get more depressed during the winter) Life is worth living, I know that.[/QUOTE]
I quite like long winters now. I didnt use to, but now as long as i have several good books and a log fire Im happy. And i'm not sucidal, i just dont listen to my self preservation instincts!
Lord Refa: I have been learning to draw manga for a while now so it's a really tempting offer, but when it says 5 euro at my bankaccount I can't really aford it.
ShadowDancer: I've never seen NZ women so I can't say, perhaps we should have Biggles post som pics. :)
ShadowDancerWhen I say, "Why aye, gadgie," in my heart I say, "Och aye, laddie."London, UK
[QUOTE]Some one stole my bike today[/QUOTE]
Bugger!
[QUOTE]ShadowDancer: I've never seen NZ women so I can't say, perhaps we should have Biggles post som pics.[/QUOTE]
I have!:D hwwwwaaah!!!! Nice!!!!
Biggles<font color=#AAFFAA>The Man Without a Face</font>
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ShadowDancer [/i]
[B]That would be cool, tho id still rather go to NZ! Better looking women there!!!! (in my humble opinion:D)[/B][/QUOTE]
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by shadow boxer [/i]
[B]man... I've walked into the Goth club by mistake... :)
depression is an ugly beast, yours truly carries a big stick to beat it with, and occasionally it gets in a few fangs and I bleed for a while...
I'm most unpleasant to be with whilst licking those kinds of wounds.
Anyways, suicide is for the chicken shit loser. Offing yourself only results in you 'resetting' your life. You come back and face the same challenges you faced in this life. Keeping offing yourself and you keep coming back, again and again... so...head down mother fucker... deal with it, even death is no escape.
besides which, if you can survive suicidal depression... theres fuck all else in this world that can even scratch you. Nobody can touch you because your mind has had all that 'resistance training' to stress.
in situations where everyone else whimpers and crumbles... you keep fucking swinging, probably with more vigour than before. I kinda feel sorry for 'sane' and 'un-depressed' people because if and when they face some awful shit in thier life, they become babbling messes incapable of wiping thier own arses. Us 'depressed' people crack jokes, laugh about it... and carry on...
In short, fight like fuck, soon enough you'll run out of dickheads to punch... (well atleast until the dickheads are so thin in your life you only have to cave in heads on the weekend)
Dont for a second think you are alone fellas... more people on this board than you realise have faced exactly the same shade of demon as you...
... and won. [/B][/QUOTE]
I usually don't like 'boxer's "suck it up and shut up" -attitude and opinionated responses but this time I have to say that I agree whole-heartedly.
When you're depressed, anyone trying to cheer you up is an idiot. No matter what they'd say, they're idiots, they know nothing about what you're going through. They possibly couldn't understand because they're not you and there isn't the slightest chance that there would be another totally miserable slob like you on the face of the earth. Sound familiar? Probably.
Depression can be unbelievable shit at times, I don't know if I've ever truly been depressed but then again I'm the kind of type that just keeps on going even if there's something REALLY seriously wrong with the brain section. If it doesn't show outside, I keep on going.
I've got some disorders, stuck mental routines, if don't do things like 3 times in a row or some such until I feel good about it my mind tells me that a demon comes up and devours the souls of my family. Or some shit like that. My mind throws up rules and dictations for my life which I have to follow if I want to feel good doing whatever it is that I'm doing. And I have to say that it's PRETTY restricting... And when the prison of your life is one and the same as the key to a sane one -your mind if you didn't get it-, you tend to get depressed.
The mind works in mysterious ways. I try to crack my brain from the inside, work things out on my own. My mind creates the shit it slaps in my face, my mind can also make it go away. And if it doesn't? Well, let's just say that it'll beg me to get shitfaced, or for some anti-depressants or painkillers that I never use. I feel sorry for it already.
I've had problems since I was 5. Already at the age of 5 I felt like I couldn't cope with myself and first thought seriously about commiting a suicide. People thought I was crazy for doing some strange twitches or routines just to keep the beast of my mind at bay. Whenever they asked, I just came up with some clever excuse. Nobody knew because I didn't show my feelings on the outside.
I don't fake it now, though. I'm openly sad, openly happy and openly depressed when I am. And the main thing is that I'm fighting. I chose to fuck my brain inside-out instead of yielding, put it between the rock and the hard place as it has done to me so far, chose to do some soul-digging (although believing the possibility that I had already sold mine at an early age) to find out where my problems originated from and am still doing so this very day. And most of all, I chose to broke all the rules my mind made me. That'll show it. I thought I'd put an ;) here but somehow it doesn't seem right.
If your mind gives you shit, it's a hundred times worse than whatever any outsider can cause you. You know it, I know it.
And killing yourself? That's the chickenshit way as 'boxer said it, no matter what clever little explanation you'd have for it. If it would be just you, I wouldn't care. But you have a family, relatives, friends. You're linked. People care about you although you might find it hard to believe. And you can't understand how much they'd hurt if you'd decide to noose yerself. And I believe in reincarnation, go out and they put you back in. Until you realise... it. Whatever "it" is, I can't tell you. That's what you were put here for. You.
And don't get me started about not having a woman in your life or a life for that matter... preaching to the choir. Believe. Hurt. Lose faith. Fight. Get Up. Believe again. Try again. Repeat.
And cutting yourself? Wanting to feel something when there's nothing there? To prove yourself that you're alive and a human being, that you still possibly have a soul that counts? Bare fists, pound the wall. Until you snap your arm or your shoulder dislocates, it helps for the paincraves. Done that.
Anti-depressants, pills, magic potions? None available for prolonged use. You just can't pop a pill in and feel great, no matter what the other users say. The pills. they provoke the chem' in your brain to come out. When you run out with extended unearned use, you run out. The pills won't work. And the depression hits it climax. Nothing seems worth anything anymore, you want to die. If that's the case, seek professional help. I'm not qualified for that and don't want to cause any deaths, thankyouverymuch.
And yeah, I'm an idiot too. Remember that. Find one good thing in every day, no matter how small. A smile, a good tv-show. A kick in the groin if that's your thing. One thing will keep you going. Even if that means you'll have to do that for the rest of your life.
Some try to climb up and away from the Pit. Some grow flowers at the bottom.
Järvenpää / Helsinki, eh? Funny, I was born in Helsinki and lived for years in Järvenpää, visit both pretty regularly. Something wrong here... ? :p
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by C_Mon [/i]
[B]Lord Refa: I have been learning to draw manga for a while now so it's a really tempting offer, but when it says 5 euro at my bankaccount I can't really aford it.
[/B][/QUOTE]
Save money! Beg from your parents! :)
Anyway.. It's in no hurry.. well, within the next 6 months or so would be nice. If you'd buy it in that time. :)
And making money is easy. I got 300 euros in the last 3 weeks, and I'm not even working!
Data Crystal, what makes suicide a cowards choice? Really?
Family getting "hurt". Bull. Atleast in my case. Closest thing to one was my dog, who died some 5 or 6 years ago.
ShadowDancerWhen I say, "Why aye, gadgie," in my heart I say, "Och aye, laddie."London, UK
[QUOTE]There are?[/QUOTE]
Yup! I saw them! Where are u in NZ? North or South?
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Aurora SF [/i]
[B]commiting suicide isn't as easy as most of you think...believe me, i know... [/B][/QUOTE]
Same here. That's why I'm saying it ain't a cowards choice.
ShadowDancerWhen I say, "Why aye, gadgie," in my heart I say, "Och aye, laddie."London, UK
Im with Refa on this.
[QUOTE]Anti-depressants, pills, magic potions? None available for prolonged use. You just can't pop a pill in and feel great, no matter what the other users say.[/QUOTE]
I was lucky i guess then to get my head sorted out while i was on the pills. sure i felt like shit after i came off them, but i wasnt ready to top myself anymore.
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ShadowDancer [/i]
[B]The thing that always kept me going was the thought of what it would do to the people i cared about, and who cared about me. [/B][/QUOTE]
I dont have anyone who really cares about me, and I'm distancing myself from those who I care about. So none of that for me.
ShadowDancerWhen I say, "Why aye, gadgie," in my heart I say, "Och aye, laddie."London, UK
Well i think its fair to say that all of us here would miss matching wits with u!
Comments
Whats Scary is that I have allot of the same issues as refa, But i'm not suicidal;)
Well I guess i'm not as depressed of Refa, nor am I suicidal. For as long as I can remember I have been depressed about life, It got really worse when I was in grade 7 and 8, to the point when I was put on anti-depressants. I stop taking them after a few months becuase they where giving me very bad hart-burn.
Yes I am a geek and i'm proud of it. And yes i'm a loner, I prefure to keep to my self, and I don t like being in public very much(heh, when i goto the movies, I go by my self), and yes, i'm the outcast at school. Yes I spend my friday nights at home alone, but so do alot of us. And for some reason people call me a loser for this?. Does Thinking about the future of the people of earth make me a loser??
As for friends, I have about 3 or 4 (good)friends, I have never really had the need for a large amount of friends like the people in the higher social class(You know the type of ppl i'm talking about)who think they need alot of friends, I think they have a big fear of being alone, unlike me who does not. Threw out my life I have not had very many friends, But i dont care. As for a girl friend, I have a slim to none chance of getting. there anrt very many girls who share the same interests as me, and the thing about me being labled a loser is a big turn off as well(I know I'm not Ugly). But I dont care, who needs a girl friend. I know people my age, There number one thing of their mind is to get fuck:D Its on my mind too, But its not the number one thing. I dont know when it will happend, But it will happen when it happens
Despite what alot of people think, I am prity smart(Yes I suck at spelling and Grammer), I spend alot of my time thinking about world issues. Thinking up an united earth goverment and things like that. I spend alot of my time working on 3D art. And still for some reason this makes me a loser and stupid??. I do prity well in school, I hope to get a 75%+ Grade average this year
Yes I'm Paranoid, I'm afraid of awsering the door, or the phone unless I know who it is.
To end this off, I am not a man, I am not a woman, I am a human.
Please seek help, serious help. No matter what you think of yourself, you are worth saving, and you are valuable. If you don't think that your worth anything to the world, you at least matter to me, and I think others, at Firstones.
Keep looking for an answer. Just a guick google for "finland" and "depression" shows a lot of links, including [url=http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/151/4/530]this one[/url] showing that many people have received [i]improper[/i] care. Don't give up. Don't let them tell you they're doing all that can be done if it isn't enough.
I don't know enough about you to even attempt a diagnoses, and I won't give a glib quote to lift your spirits. But you're a person, and of infinite worth.
--Kyle Kennedy
I want to thank everyone here for their suport. I guess I got to go to booring school and work, but if it'll get me my YZF 600R I'll go there everyday.
I'm not going to bother using months in order to get myself a bit of normal life, and then get it all taken in moments, and being thrown back into the pit.
So, the only way to get out of the loop, is by killing myself, eventually. And ceasing to exist totally. It's rational. It's logical. See?
[B]Feeling better after a good night sleep [/B][/QUOTE]
Lucky you, I only got 2 hours sleep last night:(
I hated myself then even thought i was everything that i was ever hoping for...I was anti-social, i writed good lyrics and there was other things what were so fucking great!but now, i don't have none of those things...i should now hate myself for so many reasons but i don't...so the final conclusion is that depression broke me and i can't never be the same and in some cases it's good but...
That would be cool, tho id still rather go to NZ! Better looking women there!!!! (in my humble opinion:D)
[QUOTE]I'm not suicidal, I'm just depressed from time to time,(I get more depressed during the winter) Life is worth living, I know that.[/QUOTE]
I quite like long winters now. I didnt use to, but now as long as i have several good books and a log fire Im happy. And i'm not sucidal, i just dont listen to my self preservation instincts!
I'm selling the lot for cheap. 190 euros+postal.
ShadowDancer: I've never seen NZ women so I can't say, perhaps we should have Biggles post som pics. :)
Some one stole my bike today.
Bugger!
[QUOTE]ShadowDancer: I've never seen NZ women so I can't say, perhaps we should have Biggles post som pics.[/QUOTE]
I have!:D hwwwwaaah!!!! Nice!!!!
[B]That would be cool, tho id still rather go to NZ! Better looking women there!!!! (in my humble opinion:D)[/B][/QUOTE]
There are?
[B]man... I've walked into the Goth club by mistake... :)
depression is an ugly beast, yours truly carries a big stick to beat it with, and occasionally it gets in a few fangs and I bleed for a while...
I'm most unpleasant to be with whilst licking those kinds of wounds.
Anyways, suicide is for the chicken shit loser. Offing yourself only results in you 'resetting' your life. You come back and face the same challenges you faced in this life. Keeping offing yourself and you keep coming back, again and again... so...head down mother fucker... deal with it, even death is no escape.
besides which, if you can survive suicidal depression... theres fuck all else in this world that can even scratch you. Nobody can touch you because your mind has had all that 'resistance training' to stress.
in situations where everyone else whimpers and crumbles... you keep fucking swinging, probably with more vigour than before. I kinda feel sorry for 'sane' and 'un-depressed' people because if and when they face some awful shit in thier life, they become babbling messes incapable of wiping thier own arses. Us 'depressed' people crack jokes, laugh about it... and carry on...
In short, fight like fuck, soon enough you'll run out of dickheads to punch... (well atleast until the dickheads are so thin in your life you only have to cave in heads on the weekend)
Dont for a second think you are alone fellas... more people on this board than you realise have faced exactly the same shade of demon as you...
... and won. [/B][/QUOTE]
I usually don't like 'boxer's "suck it up and shut up" -attitude and opinionated responses but this time I have to say that I agree whole-heartedly.
When you're depressed, anyone trying to cheer you up is an idiot. No matter what they'd say, they're idiots, they know nothing about what you're going through. They possibly couldn't understand because they're not you and there isn't the slightest chance that there would be another totally miserable slob like you on the face of the earth. Sound familiar? Probably.
Depression can be unbelievable shit at times, I don't know if I've ever truly been depressed but then again I'm the kind of type that just keeps on going even if there's something REALLY seriously wrong with the brain section. If it doesn't show outside, I keep on going.
I've got some disorders, stuck mental routines, if don't do things like 3 times in a row or some such until I feel good about it my mind tells me that a demon comes up and devours the souls of my family. Or some shit like that. My mind throws up rules and dictations for my life which I have to follow if I want to feel good doing whatever it is that I'm doing. And I have to say that it's PRETTY restricting... And when the prison of your life is one and the same as the key to a sane one -your mind if you didn't get it-, you tend to get depressed.
The mind works in mysterious ways. I try to crack my brain from the inside, work things out on my own. My mind creates the shit it slaps in my face, my mind can also make it go away. And if it doesn't? Well, let's just say that it'll beg me to get shitfaced, or for some anti-depressants or painkillers that I never use. I feel sorry for it already.
I've had problems since I was 5. Already at the age of 5 I felt like I couldn't cope with myself and first thought seriously about commiting a suicide. People thought I was crazy for doing some strange twitches or routines just to keep the beast of my mind at bay. Whenever they asked, I just came up with some clever excuse. Nobody knew because I didn't show my feelings on the outside.
I don't fake it now, though. I'm openly sad, openly happy and openly depressed when I am. And the main thing is that I'm fighting. I chose to fuck my brain inside-out instead of yielding, put it between the rock and the hard place as it has done to me so far, chose to do some soul-digging (although believing the possibility that I had already sold mine at an early age) to find out where my problems originated from and am still doing so this very day. And most of all, I chose to broke all the rules my mind made me. That'll show it. I thought I'd put an ;) here but somehow it doesn't seem right.
If your mind gives you shit, it's a hundred times worse than whatever any outsider can cause you. You know it, I know it.
And killing yourself? That's the chickenshit way as 'boxer said it, no matter what clever little explanation you'd have for it. If it would be just you, I wouldn't care. But you have a family, relatives, friends. You're linked. People care about you although you might find it hard to believe. And you can't understand how much they'd hurt if you'd decide to noose yerself. And I believe in reincarnation, go out and they put you back in. Until you realise... it. Whatever "it" is, I can't tell you. That's what you were put here for. You.
And don't get me started about not having a woman in your life or a life for that matter... preaching to the choir. Believe. Hurt. Lose faith. Fight. Get Up. Believe again. Try again. Repeat.
And cutting yourself? Wanting to feel something when there's nothing there? To prove yourself that you're alive and a human being, that you still possibly have a soul that counts? Bare fists, pound the wall. Until you snap your arm or your shoulder dislocates, it helps for the paincraves. Done that.
Anti-depressants, pills, magic potions? None available for prolonged use. You just can't pop a pill in and feel great, no matter what the other users say. The pills. they provoke the chem' in your brain to come out. When you run out with extended unearned use, you run out. The pills won't work. And the depression hits it climax. Nothing seems worth anything anymore, you want to die. If that's the case, seek professional help. I'm not qualified for that and don't want to cause any deaths, thankyouverymuch.
And yeah, I'm an idiot too. Remember that. Find one good thing in every day, no matter how small. A smile, a good tv-show. A kick in the groin if that's your thing. One thing will keep you going. Even if that means you'll have to do that for the rest of your life.
Some try to climb up and away from the Pit. Some grow flowers at the bottom.
Järvenpää / Helsinki, eh? Funny, I was born in Helsinki and lived for years in Järvenpää, visit both pretty regularly. Something wrong here... ? :p
[B]Lord Refa: I have been learning to draw manga for a while now so it's a really tempting offer, but when it says 5 euro at my bankaccount I can't really aford it.
[/B][/QUOTE]
Save money! Beg from your parents! :)
Anyway.. It's in no hurry.. well, within the next 6 months or so would be nice. If you'd buy it in that time. :)
And making money is easy. I got 300 euros in the last 3 weeks, and I'm not even working!
Data Crystal, what makes suicide a cowards choice? Really?
Family getting "hurt". Bull. Atleast in my case. Closest thing to one was my dog, who died some 5 or 6 years ago.
Yup! I saw them! Where are u in NZ? North or South?
[B]commiting suicide isn't as easy as most of you think...believe me, i know... [/B][/QUOTE]
Same here. That's why I'm saying it ain't a cowards choice.
[QUOTE]Anti-depressants, pills, magic potions? None available for prolonged use. You just can't pop a pill in and feel great, no matter what the other users say.[/QUOTE]
I was lucky i guess then to get my head sorted out while i was on the pills. sure i felt like shit after i came off them, but i wasnt ready to top myself anymore.
The thing that always kept me going was the thought of what it would do to the people i cared about, and who cared about me.
[B]The thing that always kept me going was the thought of what it would do to the people i cared about, and who cared about me. [/B][/QUOTE]
I dont have anyone who really cares about me, and I'm distancing myself from those who I care about. So none of that for me.
[B]Well i think its fair to say that all of us here would miss matching wits with u! [/B][/QUOTE]
Hardly.
My wits are long gone.
Come on, there must be something or someone ud miss!