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Stories of Mine.

TridentTrident Ranger
in Zocalo v2.0
Well I thought I would post these up. I would really love some feedback on them, especially if I should try to publish the novel one. BTW the english is horrible, I didn't finish grammer check on the Night Stars, so bear with it.

The First Delkalt Knight (38 pages)
[URL="http://derrickhuntington.home.comcast.net/delkalt/Delkalt.doc"]MS Word Format[/URL]
[URL="http://derrickhuntington.home.comcast.net/delkalt/Delkalt.htm"]HTML Format[/URL]

Night Stars: Dawn of Night (411 pages)
[URL="http://derrickhuntington.home.comcast.net/nightstars/NightStars.doc"]MS Word Format[/URL]
[URL="http://derrickhuntington.home.comcast.net/nightstars/NightStars.htm"]HTML Format[/URL]

Comments

  • The Cabl3 GuyThe Cabl3 Guy Elite Ranger
    Had a look at the first one and got through the first chapter. I have to say there are some things I would have added and things I would have taken away, I found myself rereading certain parts because I didn't know where you were taking me or who I was following, The action scenes in particular need more umph! Read more action novels and you can feel the fight not just see it. That being said fights are hard to do and I have that problem as well. Rewrite it and you will see it get better. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to rewrite my work, but I'll know its done when I can see it better than I remember it. Writing is hell you have to dig, dig, dig till you hit the bottom of the damn pit. When ya at the bottom and you can see a clear window into another world. You've done your job. Don't just write, DIG.
  • TridentTrident Ranger
    Thank you Cable, I hope to hear more comments on it. That is my first story ever written, so I knew it would suck :p. The second one... yea it probably will suck too, but at least I'm trying.
  • MessiahMessiah Failed Experiment
    Im sick. Ill look at them later.. :)
  • TridentTrident Ranger
    Bump...
  • TridentTrident Ranger
    Just wondering if anyone got to read any of the Night Stars Story? I'm really want to know if it's worth trying to finish up real nice, do the 3d art, then try to sell it to someone.
  • The Cabl3 GuyThe Cabl3 Guy Elite Ranger
    I read through it not actually reading it completely. But I caught a lot of grammarical errors stuff my english teacher would butcher. Not to say that its bad but it needs some layering and more character developement(at least I think)

    Search yourself for some innovative character quirks. AKA the little milks from the diner that some people drink en masse and is seen in the film Saving Silverman.
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